If there is one thing I hate in the whole forsaken Universe it are…
May 12th, 2007 by Vicious
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Motor-enhanced bicycles.
Honest to God and all His crazy cousins, there is nothing more repulsing, more disgusting than motor-enhanced bicycles (I have no idea how to call them, so I’ll go with MEB’s from now on).
First of all, it is the way they sneak up to you. You’re just cycling along, peaceful and calm when suddenly a grandma on a bicycle passes you. All sort of emotions rush through your feeble brain; embarrassment, confusion, anger and probably a seizure if you’re an epileptic. You look flabbergasted at the horrible waste of biomass on wheels when suddenly you realise that it is her that is at odds with nature. While you are propelling yourself in a completely natural way by letting your body convert the chemical energy stored in the big Mac you ate half an hour ago into energy exerted by your foot upon the pedestal, the old hag cheats via a fossil-fuel powered engine. Why, you think, certainly the dumb whore must have a compelling reason to travel in such a cheap way. Wrong! Adequate research points out that only 7% of MEB users use one for appropriate reasons, such as disease or incurable bone fractures.
The problem with MEB’s lie in two distinct fields. The first one are the operators. Everyone that rides these horrors on wheels is one of the following; an old hag, an overweight middle-aged woman or common white trash. Furthermore, all of them are idiots. The second problem encompasses the whole thing they represent; sloth and gluttony. Using engines is lazy and having to use them is sloth gathered in the past 20 years or so. To illustrate; guess why you are unable to cycle all the way to the city centre grandma? That’s right, because you haven’t done so in the pass three million years. Therefore your muscles have broken down and your husband is cheating on you with the wife of your grandson.
These people have to go. By Force. Who’s with me?
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