In the broad spectrum of the moviemaking industry we distinct between a few genres. There are the every popular action films, adventure films (fancy name for action films), historical dramas, thrillers (usually action again), horrors (thrillers with ghosts), romance, comedy (romantic of course), superhero films and the top of the bill; the American teen comedies. If you want examples of the latter; American Pie and all its horrible offspring, Van Wilder, Dude, Where’s my car? and the like.

These movies are generally set in high school or college and the main cast is composed of godawful teens facing incredibly devastating problems including, but not limited to; losing virginity, obsessive girl/boyfriend, winning the football (fuck football) game, getting an A for a test and losing one’s virginity.

Just because the plot is so horribly lame that anyone with the brain capacity of a sock could solve any of the love-related questions within 2 minutes does not necessarily make it a bad movie. This is due to the fact that any comedy film may redeem itself by having comedy in it. Fortunately most of them actually make me laugh. This however is not what is bothering me.

What is bothering me are a few realism issues that always come up when watching such a film. I know they are not supposed to be realistic in any way, but I can’t help but be bothered by them. I will show you what I mean;

• For some odd reason the characters in the films always have some moral issue with fucking some girl under 18. Don’t get me wrong, I am fully aware of the reason for an age of consent and I consider myself a paragon of morality, but this is just fucking stupid. I had a similar case in which one of my former classmates explained to me the legal steps he would take to be lawfully allowed to have sex with his girlfriend (he would be 18 when his girlfriend was still 17 for three months). Apparently he is was actually planning to get an official ‘license’ or ‘consent form’ or something like that. How fucking stupid can you be?
• Another thing typically found in American movies, and not just comedies, are bicycle helmets. Whenever some dipshit character goes on driving he would outfit himself with armour that puts a Russian combat tank to shame. Well guess what? Where I come from, nobody wears bicycle helmets. The only helmets I ever see are from professional bicycle racers (or at least dudes with a professional looking bike) and complete retards. Chances are if you posses one, you are the latter
• Nerds always get laid in the end. I find this annoying. Note that it does not necessarily mean they get sex, but I mean that the nerd in the end of the film always wins, either through losing virginity or by outclevering some jock (because all sport players are dumb). A general rule of thumb is that nerds never win. Nerds go home, play Everquest: Legend of the Evil Dark Elf Overlord Demi-God LOL, feed on cheetos and then cry themselves to sleep.

Am I the only one with such animosity? Drop us a line!

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 19th, 2007 at 11:52 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.