No, this is not going to be some rape joke as the title might imply. Rape is not funny unless it is a direct result of karma. What I am talking about however, is a fragment of porn I got introduced to by a British mate (now a distant acquaintance). To be exact; go here, make up an age and search for ‘pterodactyl porn’. This is not a joke.
Instead of a standard rant, I will give you a review;
Plot
There are four characters in the first part of the clip; one woman and three gentlemen dressed up in pterodactyl (flying dinosaur) suits. The position is a fairly standard one for such a line-up of talent; the woman is impaled by a pterodactyl on his back while simultaneously performing fellatio and hand-art on two standing pterodactyl-man by her side who are furiously flapping their wings at intervals.
After about 30 seconds (I honestly do not know, and have no intention of watching it again) we get a close up and are introduced to a fifth participant is this paragon of sexual art; a hand puppet. Clip ends few seconds later.
Vicious’ response
I never knew it was possible for ones mood to go from ‘ehh’ to ‘what the hell’ to ‘oh my god’ to ‘this is brilliant’ to ‘hahahaha’.
Positive aspects
- The costumes are really well done.
- The girl is not unattractive.
- I laughed.
Negative aspects
- What the fuck?
- Not sexually stimulating at all.
- Anything involving more than one penis is gay.
- Childhood memories of cool dinosaurs blown to bits.
- What the FUCK?
Conclusion
If I would have to chose between laughing and crying, laughing wins. Until I realised that there is probably more dinosaur porn out there.
Are you a ptero-lover? Fuck you and don’t dare to comment!
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