Everybody loves youtube! From the young to the elderly, from the sick to the healthy, from the sane to the mentally retarded. Especially the mentally retarded. YouTube, as we all know, is the retarded unwanted and semi-aborted baby of a computer and a television that dropped out of high school after getting knocked up by the chairman of the toaster club.
Fine, honestly, I sort of like YouTube. After all, where else do I find the latest retards kindly packed and processed with trilling names such as ‘White Chicks & Gang Signs’ or ‘Otters holding hands’. Face it, the only reason YouTube became such a success is because it gives the uploaders a sense of satisfaction and the feeling they are contributing to society. Too bad this couldn’t be further from the truth. Highly scientific research has pointed out that up to 74% of everything on YouTube is excessively lame. 20% is just retarded. 5% sad attempts at comedy and 1% useful stuff like movie trailers and the like. The 94% lame and retarded stuff consists solely of monologues, (bad) dancing, animals, monologues, something religious, something anti-religion, more monologues, happy slapping and finally, in the name of diversity; monologues.
Seeing as you are all mighty beings of logic, I know you won’t just take my word for it that YouTube sucks. Therefore, without further ado, I present; the evidence;
Guitar Talent baby. That’s one fatass baby. Someone call child services on this one. Just take one look in that baby’s eyes and tell me you can’t see its suffering.
Ultimate Cute Animals. Ah, it are otters holding hands. Who cares? First of all, animals are barely sentient, they don’t know what or why they are doing anything. Second, stop trying to compare human and animal behaviour. And finally, stop saying they are cute. Otters are not cute.
What do you get if you put 3 aspergers together and give them a video cam? You get this little gem. Its not funny, its not daring, its not cool but it is 110% retarded.
Before you accuse me of collecting the Worst of YouTube™ it is my duty to tell you that all of the above are ‘featured’ on YouTube. I have no idea what this means but it probably means people liked it, as is evident by the great comments written by linguistic masterminds including, but not limited to; ‘your shit’, ‘farting is cool’, ‘Best video on youtube. EVAR.’, ‘lmao’ and the ever popular ‘OMG READ TIS AND TEH GOHST COMEZ TO YA HOUSE LOL’. In short, YouTube is retarded and all its uploaders should be beaten to that with glass fibre whips.
More Worst of YouTube™ videos? Drop us a line!
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