Everyone knows at least one of them. They are not actual hippies, but it is the closest thing you can get to describing them. I am talking about those kind of people that seem to excruciatingly stupid, lazy and ignorant that you can’t help but wonder what kind of horrible defect his first girlfriend will posses (or boyfriend, although the female form of such hippies seems more rare).
Enter John. John is an idiot. John is the person to which the title is referring. John’s name has been changed for privacy reasons (my privacy, not his, fuck him). Vicious has the displeasure of having to see John nearly every weekday. Vicious does not like John and has not hesitated to tell him in his face.
Now that we have set the setting for John, allow me to elaborate further on his retarded personality, if we can call it that. For some odd reason, John is convinced that the whole world is out to get him. He didn’t finish something in time? Damn the establishment for setting such obviously inconvenient deadline! It’s not as if he has a life of his own (he doesn’t). People around him telling him what to do? Damn those pushy bastard! Let him live a life of his own. No, you worthless genetic misfit, it’s because you don’t do anything, ever. In fact, I have not found a single person in our shared group of aquaintances that like you. Girls hate you because you’re a borderline misogynist and guys hate you because you’re obnoxious, annoying and seem to drain the fun out of any room you enter.
For dessert I decided to do a little research on the horrible words that leave John’s throat. Keep in mind that whenever he speaks, it is rubbish. This has been tested and proven scientifically correct. Some of the more finer gems of speech include (remember that although they may appear as irony or sarcasm, he actually means it);
‘The drawbridge only opens when I approach’.
‘lol’.
‘Why are there tests anyway?’.
‘Police sucks’.
‘I think I’m gay’
Fine, that last one may be made up, but I think I got the point across.
Do you know a John? Drop us a line?
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